Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Short taken!

Every day that we spend in France has its highs and lows, the lows generally connected to the fruitless task of finding a convenience that comes up to our, definitely lowered, standards. Those of you familiar with my fastidiousness with regards to the bodily functions of the nether regions will be horrified to hear that I had to resort to the public toilets, not once but twice, during the course of our day's touring yesterday!

The first occasion I can only blame on the toilet scout. His choice of location for the morning coffee was devoid of any facilities for - washing one's hands. To give him his due, I had already inquired for the possibility of coffee in two reputable looking establishments but had been gruffly informed that they were restaurants. French restaurateurs seemingly are not at their best first thing in the morning, not even when they have smiling tourists ready to part with their money - after all we were going to buy coffee and, of course, spend a penny! With the penny shoved back into place, we turned to the next possibility which did serve coffee but the toilet scout failed to observe, part of his duties you know, that we might purchase coffee but there would be no penny spent!

Our need not being dire at the time, we made our way uphill to the source of the river Sorgue. Hindsight makes me realise that we were very fortunate that there was no gushing water at the site. Gushing water could have had the unfortunate effect of releasing a flood of my own! On the return downhill, I became more and more aware of a pressing need. I also noticed that Jim had adopted an unusual gait - cross-legged! Relief was at hand - public toilets! Peg would have to be put in position and the situation braved. The ladies was locked - what? Jim kindly offered the cubicle in the gents. I shuddered at the thought and the very shudder reminded me that I couldn't refuse! I bravely ventured in and focused on positioning myself so that no part of my body or no item of clothing would come in contact with contaminated areas. I can assure you that was quite a feat!

The day continued more comfortably and we installed ourselves at our choice of restaurant for the menu du jour. Toilet scout did his job of investigating the facilities and returned with the verdict that the ladies looked acceptable but that he would not be making a return visit to the gents! It must have been bad for Jim to say that. However, he overcame his difficulties in a most ingenious way - his next trip found him taking a wrong turning and into the ladies!

Later in the day we were in a similar predicament and there is only so much coffee one can drink. While we were at Partage des eaux (the parting of the waters), outside L'Isle sur la Sorgue, we found ourselves wanting to part with some waters ourselves. Public toilets were on site - the gents open and the ladies locked again. This is something I cannot fathom. If there is a public convenience, what use is it closed! I suppose that's one way of keeping it clean. Do the authorities not realise that, if the men's toilet were locked, the men would more easily find a suitable or unsuitable location for relieving the pressure. How many of us have seen gentlemen, how could I call them gentlemen, standing in the familiar position, then a quick shake, a quick look around and zip up? Women are less likely to resort to the open air - though I have to confess to the very thing when we were in the wilds of Les Mourres, outside of Forcalquier .I just had to but I chose a very secluded spot and put toilet scout on guard! Anyway, back to Partage des eaux - the ladies was locked but the handicapped toilet was open.  What joy! Not only was there space but it was acceptable too!

Back at home I still shudder at the thought of public toilets but I can shudder in the knowledge that 27 stairs down and 7 stairs up a comfotable clean toilet awaits me!

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