The Royal Banquet was my first introduction as Queen to my loyal subjects. With His Royal Highness Mike the Solemn, we processed to the Banqueting Hall, accompanied by the court's musician and singers. Our subjects were suitably courteous and the noble handbag carrier, James Wingfield the spice lover, fulfilled his duties admirably. It is likely that we will retain him in that position with a view to increasing his responsibilities. His Higness and Her Majesty smiled favorably on the traditional musicians and singers and called for copious imbibements of the royal brew and fermented grape. The King showed himself to be a man of the people, removing his crown and nodding amicably at his guests in an effort to encourage conviviality.
The first concubine was present and shuffled eagerly to His Majesty's side to reposition his crown, reorganise his gown and ply him with nem and noodles. I was satisfied that she was suitably aware of her inferior position until she took advantage of an unguarded moment on my part, seizing my briefly removed crown, placing it on her head and positioning herself in my momentarily vacant throne! My eyes locked on hers and, in fury, I uttered my first royal command: "Off with her head!"
What are you on?
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